Watch Out!
There's a Truck Coming!
“If you were crossing the street and I noticed a semi-truck was about to hit you, would you be okay with my yelling, ‘Watch out!’ or pulling you back onto the curb?”
This was the question I asked male students in a discussion about their comfort level when receiving help. More specifically - their comfort level when receiving help from a woman.
The question gave them pause. They squinted. They stared off into space. They pondered.
The female students and I waited in silence. Seconds passed. Crickets chirped.
Then one of these young men sat up straight and smiled. “Yes, Dr. Howell, I would be okay with that. You could save my life.”
A collective sigh came from his classmates.
“What about it?” I asked another young man. “Would you let me save your life?”
After what appeared to be an inner struggle, he consented – with one stipulation: “You could save my life, but then we could never talk about it.”
The class exploded in laughter. Really? We could never talk about it? I would think he’d at least offer a heartfelt thank you, spring for a cup of coffee, or put me on his Christmas card mailing list.
I then asked the third man in the class. “Would you let a woman save you?” He leaned back and stroked his chin. “Well, yes,” he agreed. “But only if I then married her.”
More laughter from his now intrigued peers. “Why would that matter?” a classmate asked.
“Because then it would be like her saving me was destiny or fate bringing us together. So it would be okay. If a woman just saved me without a deeper meaning, it wouldn’t be okay.”
Now I know we can’t make too much out of three guys answering one question. And I admit that their comedic timing livened up more than one of my classes over the years. Were their answers to the semi-truck question more of the same? Yeah, probably. I do believe they’d prefer being yanked to safety rather than flattened on the road.
Still - I do wonder if an inkling of truth was reflected in their delayed responses. Was the thought of being in such a vulnerable position to begin with, where someone needed to intervene, causing them discomfort?
If so, I get it. It isn’t easy for a lot of us - male or female - to accept help when needed. But I suspect it’s more difficult for men who are held to higher societal standards when it comes to self-sufficiency in dangerous situations.
I hope I communicated to my male and female students that day the importance of both self-sufficiency and the graceful acceptance of help when needed. Oh, and the importance of looking both ways before crossing the street.
So tell me: if I ever see a semi-truck heading your way, would you want me to yell, “Watch out” as I pull you back to the curb?
And if I do, would you at least spring for a cup of coffee?
May Events
On May 16th I’ll be selling and signing books at the Kentucky Horse Park Flea Market at 4089 Iron Works Parkway in Lexington, KY. I’d love for you to stop by to say hello between 9:30 - 4:00!
April Events:
I had a book table at the annual conference of the Bluegrass Writers Coalition on April 11th. We enjoyed a full day of learning with other writers and readers.
On April 25th, I taught a workshop - Writing 101: How to Kickstart Your Writing Career - at the Green County Public Library. Thanks to a generous donor who loaded me down with freebies to distribute, each attendee walked away with several excellent books to help them move forward on their writing journey. Picture credit below goes to Ariel Pierce who snapped a shot of the free books she selected.
I certainly would appreciate you saving me and I would take you out to eat.
I would definitely let you save me. And I so enjoyed hearing the comments from your students. I would spring for coffee, or if it's really hot outside, ice cream.