Workaholic Moms

Does Socialization Provide Women a Buffer?

Nov 04, 2025

woman using MacBook Pro — Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

“What pushes someone toward becoming a workaholic?”

“What do we get out of spending too much time at work at the expense of our families?”

These are the questions pondered several years ago in a Sunday School class I attended.

Answers ranged from the desire to provide for a family to employment insecurities to a desire to contribute to creative, meaningful work. What stood out to me, however, was even though the group was comprised of equal numbers of men and women, each person who offered a personal anecdote was male.

The females of the group turned our heads in sync with each other toward the various commentators, occasionally making sympathy noises. But, otherwise, we were quiet. The topic eventually shifted, and the class moved on.

But, of course, I couldn’t.

I wondered, Where are the female voices?

Granted, some of the older women in this group had been employed outside the home only briefly or after their children were grown. But does being a workaholic only apply to those who are employed? Couldn’t an unemployed mother be a workaholic too if she focused on child- and house-care to the exclusion of other interests? Maybe we just don’t call these women workaholics. Maybe we call them supermoms and applaud their self-sacrifice.

However, some of these women, like me for instance, were employed while raising children. So why didn’t one of us speak up? Were none of us workaholics?

I can only speak for myself in saying that while I have always enjoyed my work outside the home, I enjoyed my work as a mom too. My desire to work longer days at the office was kept in check by my desire to spend time with my children after school. My excitement over completing a project at work was countered by my enthusiasm to see my son’s high school band competition or my daughter’s performance in the school play.

In addition, I grew up in both a secular and a church culture which directed my attention much more toward being a mother than toward having a career. A workaholic mother certainly would have been criticized more harshly by either culture than would a workaholic father.

And while I haven’t completely bought into either culture’s view, I would be naïve to think they haven’t influenced me in the standard by which I judge myself. So maybe any tendency toward workaholism I might have had was curbed by a culture that said, “first and foremost, take care of your family.”

So, what am I saying – that women are better than men at balancing work and home? I don’t know. As a social scientist, I’d need a reliable study in hand to make such a statement.

But I do wonder. Does our culture’s emphasis on women being good mothers offer us a kind of buffer against becoming workaholics in our places of employment? And does our employment mediate our tendency to become workaholics at home?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below!

Susan’s Substack

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